Marrying you when I never wanted too
By princess peach
"Thanks, Mario, I guess. For fighting my “kidnappers” while sitting on the back of your dinosaur and travelling all the way to another world to save me.
You keep saying it was a lot of work, how you were one away from losing all of your lives and how I should be so thankful. But from what I could see from the tiny window in my corner of the palace it looked like I could have saved myself better.
But what do I know
I’m just a girl in a poofy dress stuck in a tree and wow isn't it such a luxury to get to stay in this itty-bitty place guarded by a sloth
As if I couldn't get past it myself and trust me I would but that's against the rules because if I do, Mario won't get the glory I will
But just because I’d rather play Mario-cart than Fortnite doesn’t make me any weaker than you
Mario, I'm waiting
however long it takes your slow self to get past the first level and obviously since you saved me instead of just thanking you what really is for you to kiss me without consent and we somehow get married, how’d you read my mind? ‘Til death do us part’
Note the sarcasm
Of course, I really wanted to marry you
you whose brother Luigi tells me
If only I'd gotten to you first
Just because you saved me doesn’t mean now ill agree to everything you say
His princess is in her own castle
Paying her own bills, getting a job, painting her nails, going on adventures, dressing up for herself why? because she's a woman before she is a princess and she doesn’t need a prince charming
when I need my toilet unclogged I'll call you, but I don't need you to come to my rescue every single time
First, try organizing your life
Because now I have to prepare to rule
an entire country that is breaking apart because you don't know how to
I get it, you thought princess was trapped by Bowser?
No princess and Bowser are friends because rejecting you at the door wasn’t an option.
What makes you think every time she doesn't answer the phone it means she needs your
help
can't a girl get some alone time around here to deal with her stuff
what stuff you ask
oh I don't know body image wage gap femalehood gender roles the fact that no one will let her wear anything but a poofy pink dress
you ride a dinosaur who
comes in more colours than I ever did
I never even get to ride a dinosaur and what if I want to be princess red
you fought off a 1-foot animal and
now you're entitled to marry peach
No princess peach is not just peachy with that
She tries to escape this video game but no matter where she goes it's the same
And believe me, it's true because our reality can relate
Thousands of girls around the world get married without the consent
And men like you Mario treat women like trash when even you know their way better than that
You know it's true so stop
And this is not to say
All men are this way
Some know the real meaning of a wife
But the ones that don't, hers a challenge for you
Let's see if you can beat it
It's level
Get a life
