Father Essay

Often it is forgotten, how much ones parents influence their life long after they’ve left the nest. Not only are the majority of people shaped by the teachings and morals of their mothers, fathers and parental figures, their whole life is dependent on those crucial years as children, when they are most impressionable. That is why i feel as though i owe my whole life, my successes and failures, to my parents, and more specifically my father. The dynamic that has formed between him and me over the course of my whole being, has made me who i am today.

I do not know, or for some reason do not remember, what my relationship with my father was as a child. I remeber bits and pieces, mostly of traveling and seeing him compete. My memories lie with my babysitter, who took care of me when my parents were absent and my sister was not mature enough to take care for the both of us. It is quite odd, because I have been told that I also spent a big part of my childhood with my loving mother and grandmother, but my memories of that are poor.

My proper memories of my dad begin about when I was 12, he had just been elected to be a member of the estonian parlament, but I could not really grasp what that meant until he started spending most of his weeks 130 kilometers away from our family, at work. Strangely, I do not remember it affecting me all too much, I just noticed that our family traditions, like going out to eat on Sundays or watching tv together, started fading away. Our family drifting apart really hit me, when in 2015 my parents got a divorce. From that point on, despite me staying to live with my mother, the role of my father in my life grew tremendously.

Somehow, when I was not living with my father anymore, every interaction I had with him became special, and I started to learn who he really is. I started to have conversations with him, that lasted for several hours, and with every single one, I learned something new about the world, and him. I found out what kind of inhumanly strong personality and ability to withstand loneliness he has. I learned to see the fire that was burning inside him and keeping him going. Through seeing his pains and insecurities, I started to understand why I myself am like I am. Even though we have never spoken about it, we see each other on a level, where we do not need words to undrestand one another and can offer each other compassion just by talking about everyday things.

Without my father, I would be lost, he taught me to unapologetically be myself and he gave me company unlike any person in my life has before. I do not completly understand the bond between us, since it is impossible to describe the feeling of him understanding me and vice versa. I am grateful to have him and I am not ashamed to admit, that without him I would not be the person I am today, I am grateful that he was the one tos hape me into who I am today

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