Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain control over another intimate partner (The United States Department of Justice, 2016). Domestic violence is a key factor to why families may eventually split up. When someone is a victim of domestic violence they are often times belittles, cheated on, and abused. People who are the victims of domestic violence stay with the offender because they have been threatened if they leave. The threats could often times be ill kill you or our family or they abuser might say they will kill themselves. Others are given the excuse that the abuser is sorry and that they promise they will not do that again. This just doesn’t effect the the victim this effects everyone around them like the children. Often times the children see the abuse and will either copy what the parent is doing or be more to themselves and just take it all in until they can not take it in anymore. People who are married to someone that domestically abuses them doesn’t know how to let that person go, they hold on to memories and the good times with the partner that they are so in denial of what is going on. It is hard to face other challenges in life when you have a constant worry about being domestically abused. People don’t take into consideration how challenging a divorce is, there is paper work, lawyers, days of waiting for the divorce to pass, and even some complications.
With divorce there is many steps until the person is finally a single and a free being. Nothing is free in this world so there is a hefty dollar amount of 300 dollars to file for a divorce and it will usually take about 6 months to be filed and processed. They first need to fill out a petition agreeing that they want to get divorced. If someone depends on the spouse or wants child custody they should then file a temporary order or temporary child support until the divorce goes through then the temporary is no longer needed. If any issues, there will need to be a trial.
Domestic violence might not be mentioned in our text because I feel like someone who is domestically abused doesn’t talk about being domestically abused. It is very rare and un-often when someone speaks out to people about domestic violence. Its like they are hiding in a closet scared to come out to people because they are afraid of how the people will react to the news. Domestic violence is nothing to hide nor be ashamed of, sadly more than 10 million American are victims of physical violence annually. Another sad fact is domestic violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime in the United States (NCADC, 2015).
Parental divorce can help lead to possible divorce in the children’s future. I think that if someone comes from a background where there parents are likely belittled or talked down to both the person being abused and the child; the child will do the same to their spouse in the future. Its like the idiom monkey see monkey do, the child is seeing the adult do it therefore they do it. I think that with belittling and being talked down to if the abuser was to get mad enough they would lash out and hit the one being abused and even the children. The abuser might also feel a sense of entitlement and if the person who is not abused steps up or feels they are entitled the abuser could go after them. Social class can be another key reason leading to divorce and even domestic violence. Social class in today society is on high importance. Its like when you have one child that child is spoiled, then you have two children and the children have to share everything, then you have 3+ kids and some don’t get this toy and others don’t get the attention, that’s how I see social class. The rich are the only child, the middle class is the 2 children, and the lower class is the 3+ kids.
When a divorce has finally gone through sometimes the partner doesn’t leave the other alone so soon or easily. Divorces can be tricky especially with a person who was domestically abusing them. There could be the chances that the ex partner could be jealous, try to control from a distance, or even stalk the ex partner. The partner could be jealous because they are no longer associated with there ex’s life and the ex may seem happier without the abuser. They could also get jealous when their ex is seeing someone else who is not them. This is where ranging anger can come and the abuser could try to lash out. Even when not married sometimes the abuser has the feeling of authority. Lastly stalking, the ex could stalk his/her old parter because they feel like they are not done with that person and are so infatuated with them.
Stalking behavior may be associated with any one of any combination of three primary brain systems that solved for mating and reproduction: the sex drive, attraction, and male/female attachment. The sex drive is the motivation to achieve sexual gratification. Attraction is the preference for and motivation to pursue a specific mating partner. Male/female attachment refers to the formation of a pair bond, the maintenance of proximity, co-parenting duties, and in human’s feelings of calm, security and union with a long term partner. (Meloy & Fisher, 2005)
There is many reasons to why divorce with domestic violence is not so easily talked about due to these few complications I have talked about here.
In conclusion, domestic violence is abusive behavior that repeats itself over and over again. Domestic violence can eventually lead to divorce in marriages. People who are abused are often time belittled and and abused in many ways. Divorces are tough because there are so many steps, like money, paper work, and days spent waiting for the answers. There are many factors that lead to divorce and even domestic violence like if the parents stayed together through their marriage, if the abuser ever hit or belittled the other in front of the child, and even the feeling of entitlement. Although it takes a great big push for some who are domestically abused to divorce their partner the ending outcome is incredible for the one being abused.